


The Best Wing-Man

by holloway88



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Frottage, Grinding, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-30 23:56:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13962849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holloway88/pseuds/holloway88
Summary: Maru helps the farmer sneak into Sebastian's room, because she is the best wing man.





	The Best Wing-Man

**Author's Note:**

> Lets play the "How obvious is it that I've never smoked pot before" game. Winner gets to call me a fucken loser, because you bet my dumbass had to google "how to use a bong" lmao. But I've really never gotten over the fact that Sebastian just has a bong, I think that's the funniest thing. So yeah, drug TW. 
> 
> Also a fun fact, I literally hated Maru for the first month of playing SDV because of her line about thinking farm-work must be easy. I was so invested in my farm life that I felt personally offended, lmfao. But in my current file she never said that to me, so Maru is officially the cool step-sister.

The atmosphere at Stardrop was particularly somber on this dreary Wednesday evening. Only the regulars had showed up; Pam was at the end of the bar on her fifth drink, Clint and Willy were at a table sharing some jalapeno poppers, and Shane was tucked away in the corner near the fireplace with that new farmer, Theo, bugging him.

"Shane, come on man, go back home to Jas." Theo said, holding his half-full mug of ale while giving Shane a stern look. "She needs someone to look after her more, I mean, just yesterday she was telling me that she fed a crawdad to one of Marnie's cows!" he explained, exasperated by the stories these children tell him when he just wants to say 'good afternoon'. Shane sighed and finished off his bottle, tapping the counter for another.

"Jas is fine, she has Vincent and Penny." he answered gruffly.

"She could have _you_ too." Theo huffed, "If you cared enough about her, you'd go back to her."

Shane's mouth twitched into a frown but he didn't say anything against Theo, because he knew Theo was right. Everybody knew Theo was right. Theo was _always_ right. "What about you? Why are you here on a Wednesday?"

Theo shrugged, "You're always in here alone, figured you could use some company." he sipped again, really wishing he had just brought his own wine from the farm, "You're not alone, Shane. No matter how much it feels that you are..."

Shane scoffed, "Like you could ever know how I feel. You're Mr. Perfect, you've stolen the hearts of damn near all the towns folk." he let out a breathy laugh, "Sorry, not trying to be a dick, but there are just some things you can't fix."

Theo internally rolled his eyes, how could one person be so dense? He put his drink on the counter and turned to Shane, "Listen, I know I may seem perfect on the outside. I mean, I've got friends, family, a job that doesn't suck.. but that doesn't mean I don't go see that counselor from Zuzu twice a month, and it doesn't mean I haven't been on antidepressants for most of my life."  he said firmly, hoping secretly that the other occupants of the bar hadn't heard him or were too drunk to retain it for tomorrow. Shane's eyes went wide in surprise.

"I didn't mean..."

"It's whatever." Theo brushed it off and pulled out his phone which was buzzing in his pocket. "Look, I've gotta go, but let me walk you back to Marnie's before you get too shit-faced." he instructed more than he asked, and Shane didn't protest. Theo tossed some coins on the counter, enough to cover both of their tabs, and walked into the cool fall air behind the older man. Theo had been in Pelican town for nearly two years now, and Shane had become one of his closest friends. He sees a lot of himself in Shane, the mental health issues, the substance abuse-he wants to help Shane because he knows that if he can do it, overcome these problems, that anyone can.

"Sorry 'm such an asshole." Shane mumbled, hands stuffed in the pocket of his sweatshirt. "Don't mean to be."

Theo shrugged, "It's fine." they walked in silence back to Marnie's ranch in Cindersap, and Theo gave Shane a hard pat on the back. "Go spend some time with Jas. Help her with her homework or watch a movie or some shit." he instructed and Shane nodded.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay." Shane walked into the house, leaving Theo alone.

He pulled out his phone again and re-read the message he had gotten from Sebastian while he was in the bar.

 **From: 'bastian <3  
**You coming to my place? Maru said she'll sneak you in ;)

 **From: 'bastian <3  
**I got plants that need sharing with my fav farm boy ;*

Theo rolled his eyes and typed back quickly while he headed for his property. Going to Sebastian's or not he needed to change his clothes and brush the alcohol off of his breath.

 **To: 'bastian <3  
**i just wrangled Shane back 2 Marnie's place. still want me 2 come over?

He made it to his house, upgraded several times thanks to Robin, and changed from his work-clothes into some more comfortable sweats. His phone buzzed again while he was brushing his teeth.

 **From: 'bastian <3  
**Yesss come over.

 **From: 'bastian <3  
**stay the night?

Theo's face heated up a bit at the last text. He hadn't stayed the night at Sebastian's house since Spring, and that was one of the last times things got super heated between them. They were _trying_ to take things slow. Sort of slow, anyways. Do blowjobs count as still going slow? Theo didn't know.

 **To: 'bastian <3  
**sure if u want me 2 ;) :*

He didn't check his phone again, just stuffed it in his pants pocket and locked the farmhouse up before heading up through the rocky pass to get to Sebastian's house. Well, really it was Robin's house, but the thought of sneaking out at dusk to go to Robin's house kind of made Theo uncomfortable, so Sebastian's house it would be named. When he got there he noticed that most of the lights were off, save for the security light in the front of the house. He snuck through a broken side panel of Maru's fence around her science-area and lightly tapped on the door. Just loud enough for her to barely hear it.

He heard some shuffling and eventually the door swung open, and Theo was greeted by a grinning Maru. "So you came after all!" she said excitedly and closed the door behind Theo. She eyed him up and down and gave him a stern look. Kind of like the look your mother gives you when you're in trouble. "Ugh, if you're going to do my brother at least be more subtle about it!" she exclaimed and Theo's face turned bright red.

"W-W-What gave you that idea?" he waved his hands and shook his head 'no', ears as red as the cranberries he was growing.

Maru rolled her eyes, "Really, you boys aren't subtle at all. Grey sweatpants? A tight t-shirt? Coming in the middle of the night? And dare I say is that a toothbrush in your pocket?" she laughed a bit, "You're definitely sleeping with him, and I think you're also going to be _sleeping_ with him."

"Maru!" Theo buried his face in his hands and shook his head. "It's not like that, we're going slow!"

"Mhm," she answered unconvinced. "sure you are, and I'm going to college for carpentry." she was always quick with the sarcasm, but Theo thought that just made her more interesting. "Look, just be quiet, would ya? I don't want to feel like I'm on the set of some cheap porno, I've got work to do." she ushered him to the doorway and checked both ways in the hall before letting him out. "Now, go!" she pushed him and Theo swiftly walked through their hall. It was dark, since all the lights were off, and he prayed the floor wouldn't squeak under his feet when he got to the stairs. Luckily he made it down the staircase and into Sebastian's room without a hitch.

"Oh, hey." Sebastian answered calmly, as if he hadn't been flirting with Theo the whole night. "One sec, I gotta finish this page."

"Sure, sure." Theo answered and pressed his back against Sebastian's door, locking the double lock behind him. Sebastian's door started out with one lock, until Robin found a skeleton key which apparently actually works on any lock, and walked into Sebastian's room while he was smoking a joint and Theo may or may not have been going down on him. Yeah, not exactly the kind of thing you want your mom to walk in on. Not the kind of thing your mom wants to walk in on either.

So Sebastian got a massive lecture about drugs and sex and abstinence, and Theo got kicked out and banned from the house for a while. It wasn't that Robin or Demetrius disliked Theo, they were more-so trying to punish Sebastian. Kind of weird since he's twenty four, but also not that weird because he still lives under their roof.

Weird situation all around. Sebastian and Theo agreed that they would really prefer if that never happened again, so Theo asked Robin to make a lock for his door at home because 'the wind keeps blowing it open' and he asked for it to 'be super strong so that it can't open from the outside', and so she did of course after Theo paid for materials and time. He thanked her, walked home, and then turned right around and walked back to Sebastian's room with it a few hours later where they installed it on his door.

So now nobody can get in if they lock it, which is great.

"Sorry, I'm finished now." Sebastian hopped up from his computer chair and walked over to Theo, snaking his arms around his waist and putting his hands in Theo's back pockets. "Didn't know how long you were gonna be so I was trying to finish this page for a client." he explained and Theo grinned.

"Don't worry about it, and don't rush just because I'm here. I'm here all night, you know. I don't mind you working." he wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. "Besides, you gotta deal with me working literally every time you come over, so it's totally fine." he pulled Sebastian in closer to him for a hug, letting his boyfriend rest his head on his shoulder. Sebastian was taller than Theo by _maybe_ two inches, they were both fairly short though so it wasn't saying much. 

"I know." was all he said before squeezing Theo's ass through his pants, grinning into his boyfriend's neck before he pressed a hot kiss against the skin. "It was boring anyway, they wouldn't take my advice on the font for their site and insisted on Comic Sans." Sebastian pulled back from Theo, cheeks a little flushed, and headed for his bed.

Theo blinked, sort of in a daze, but followed after him. "That's mortifying. What kind of company is it for?"

"They do people's taxes for them." Sebastian deadpanned.

"Oh Yoba, that's just about the worst type of company to use Comic Sans for." Theo commented, "Except maybe, like, a mortuary..."

Sebastian laughed, "That's true." as Theo sat down on his bed, kicking his shoes off towards the side of the room, Sebastian opened up one of his books to pull out his lighter and baggie of weed. Theo learned that he and Sam carved out the center of the book when they were in high school as an attempt to hide their drug paraphernalia, and it worked so well that Sebastian still uses it all these years later. Same book and everything (it _was_ going to be the Book of Yoba but Sam talked him out of it). 

He grabbed the bong from his side table which is eloquently passed off to his mother and Demetrius as "sculptural art, mom, you wouldn't get it", because Sebastian went to 'an art gallery" in Zuzu city and brought this home. Yeah, as sharp as Robin is and as smart as Demetrius is, they're both pretty blind to obvious lies. It was a pretty bong, purple and translucent; kind of reminded Theo of the Amethyst he gave to Abby a few days ago. When it was ready to go he took a hit and then passed the bong and lighter over to Theo.

"You know, I never smoked pot until I started seeing you." Theo said before taking a puff, coughing a bit because he wasn't used to it as much as Sebastian, Sam, and Abby were.

Sebastian laughed, "Oh I know." he took the bong back.

"Hey!" Theo protested, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing." Sebastian took a hit, "Just that you're pretty much the most straight arrow guy I've ever met."

"There is nothing straight about me." Theo deadpanned and they both laughed.

"I didn't mean it _that_ way." Sebastian clarified, "But come on, you're some city-boy turned farm-boy with earnest dreams and you live a honest lifestyle in a town with a population of like, less than thirty." he explained, passing Theo the stuff, "It was so obvious that you were so vanilla from the first day you got here."

Theo put his hand over his chest, "I'm wounded that you think I'm vanilla."

"Theo," Sebastian rolled his eyes while Theo took another hit. "taking it up the ass is still vanilla."

Theo's cheeks turned bright red, obviously whenever they did have sex in the future Theo would be on bottom. He didn't really take himself for much of a top, he was a little too awkward and scrawny. "That's-I-" he huffed, "I didn't mean that." he turned his nose and handed them back to Sebastian.

"Well? It isn't." he continued. "Unless there's other stuff you're into."

Theo watched while Sebastian took a particularly long hit, contemplating his next choice of words. "There might be." he turned his face away from Sebastian's gaze and hyper-focused on staring at the posters on the wall. One of the was of Solarian Chronicles, another was of some band that Theo didn't really listen to, and a third was a woman on a car but she was drawn on with sharpie. Probably by Abby.

"What does the extremely _not-vanilla_ little Theo like?" Sebastian mocked, teasingly of course. "Want to be tied up and blindfolded?" he asked and Theo locked his jaw, staring straight ahead trying to keep a straight face. "Maybe a little spanking?" he was obviously teasing him at this point, because that was hardly kinky at this point. (Maybe being tied up is more kinky depending on how you're tied up)

Theo huffed and took the bong from Sebastian, taking a long hit. He passed it back before saying, "Maybe I want you to choke me." and then the room was silent. So of course, he continued. "Maybe make me walk about with a plug up my ass all day. Maybe it vibrates and you have the remote, maybe it doesn't." he shrugged, as if this were completely casual small talk of the weather. "Maybe you could use a knife on my arms and thighs." he watched as Sebastian's face fell from 'shocked' to 'super shocked'.

After blinking at Theo a few times, and ignoring the blush that spread across his face, Sebastian took another hit without saying anything.

"Maybe you're not so vanilla after all." he finally said, "But you're still a fucking dweeb for never smoking before." he nodded to his boyfriend and handed him the bong again. The high was finally starting to hit Theo, he was feeling a little more buzzy. He always thought it would like, make him super relaxed, but it kind of made his anxiety spike a little. Maybe it was also the super awkward conversation he just had in which he admitted to fantasizing about being choked and cut. Maybe.

"Still more vanilla than you?" Theo asked finally, looking to Sebastian.

Sebastian laughed, "Maybe we're the same level, with different stuff." he answered. "I think Abby's more kinky and Sam is way less kinky."

Theo nodded, "That sounds right. Abby seems like she'd be into the dominatrix shit." Theo commented, "Or like, some spooky sex rituals about ghosts or something."

Sebastian laughed and nodded his head. "That's exactly what she's fucking into." 

"Oh? Do you speak from experience?" Theo teased, smiling to reassure the joke.

Sebastian rolled his eyes, "Hell no, dude. I mean, I won't lie, I had a huge crush on Abby in middle school and the beginning of high school, but then you see Alex shirtless in the locker room _one_ time and you can never look at girls, or Alex, the same again." he explained and Theo burst out laughing. "What? It's true!" Sebastian defended, laughing as well.

"I can't relate, man. When I was in elementary school I knew I was gay, I had a little kid crush on this other boy in my class when we were both like seven." Theo explained, "He was super nice, he shared toys and snacks with me all the time. So that's basically the way to my heart." Theo nodded with a grin and Sebastian rolled his eyes.

Theo moved from his relaxed position on the bed over towards Sebastian, putting his knee between Sebastian's legs and his hands on either side of him, moving in to press a kiss to his lips. He tasted like marijuana and sushi, which was a weirdly good combination. Maybe because it was Sebastian did it taste good. He mentally shrugged and kept kissing him, moving to bite Sebastian's bottom lip and gasping a bit when he felt cold hands push up on the hem of his t-shirt and settle on his waist.

After a solid minute of making out Sebastian moved to change positions, the bong was discarded to the table at some point in the shuffle, and Sebastian ended up with Theo in his lap, grabbing his boyfriend's ass. Theo was suddenly really disappointed in his wardrobe choice, because these grey sweats were not hiding anything. Sebastian was wearing sweatpants too, but his must have just been made of a thicker material because they weren't showing a massive tent like Theo was.

Theo moved his hands into Sebastian's hair, grabbing a fist-full of it when he gyrated his hips into Theo's crotch. Unable to catch himself Theo just let the moan escape his lips, cursing afterwards. "'bastian," he mumbled as his lips moved with Sebastian's, trying to reign in his breathing to more relaxed instead of literally gasping for air.

"I missed you." Sebastian said while his hands sneaked into Theo's pants, pulling them down and revealing his tented briefs. With a bit of assistance from Theo, Sebastian eventually got Theo's sweatpants entirely off and settled on touching every inch of his skin from his knees to his ass.

"Missed you too." Theo said quietly. "You should come by my place more."

Sebastian nodded and mumbled a quick 'yes' before he moved one of his hands to the front of Theo's boxers. "This okay?" he asked, palming his cock through the spandex-type fabric.

"Yes, please." Theo thrusted into Sebastian's touch, whining more than he probably should be. It wasn't his fault it had been so damn long since they did anything. Getting walked in on sure didn't help the anxiety of the beginning to sexual relationships. It may be his fault that he hadn't masturbated in weeks, but he's going to go ahead and blame the farm work for that. Too tired to masturbate, you know?

"Want to try something?" Sebastian asked. Anxiety flash flooded through Theo's veins, it felt as though all of his blood ran cold. He hadn't exactly mentally prepared himself for getting choked or cut or anything so he wasn't really sure if he was ready or if- "Hey, nothing like the stuff you told me about." Sebastian said firmly, kissing Theo again. "It's like a hand job, but our dicks go in the same hand." he explained and then the relief washed through Theo.

"Oh," he stammered, "Sure, yeah. That sounds... nice." Sebastian nodded and lifted his hips a bit, Theo kneeled above him to give him room to shimmy out of his pants. "I don't know what to do, I'm sorry." Theo looked in the other direction, trying to hide his embarrassment from Sebastian.

"Hey, hey." Sebastian answered and pulled him closer, "It's okay. I'll show you, if you want to."

Theo nodded, "Okay."

Sebastian kissed Theo again, and he melted into the touch. Soon Sebastian's hand was working its way around Theo's cock, poking out of the hole in his briefs. It didn't take much to get him completely hard, he was sporting a full tent only moments ago. Sebastian was hard too, now that his pants were gone Theo could see and feel it completely. "You can sit back down, babe." Sebastian said gently and Theo complied, resting on Sebastian's thighs. It was a little awkward because now their dicks were touching, and Theo had never done this before so it was just a bit new and frightening, but it also felt really nice and he was high and horny so you know what? Fuck it.

"See you're doing it already." Sebastian commented, his voice a little quieter now. "I'll just wrap my hand around them both, and you just keep doing just that."

Theo nodded and gasped a little when Sebastian wrapped his hands around both of their dicks, pumping them while they grinded into each other. As nervous as it made him at first, (which was less nervous than the first time he had a dick in his mouth or the first time Sebastian had his dick in his mouth) he really _really_ liked it after a minute. It was hot and hard and Theo knew he wasn't going to last long and he hoped Sebastian wouldn't either because that would just be awkward. Then he would have to blow him, which he didn't not want to do, but he would feel bad because this was Sebastian's idea and then all of a sudden he would finish and ruin it and-

"Fuck, Theo." Sebastian said after a few minutes of repetitive movement. By the time Theo was repeating 'please finish Sebastian' like a mantra in his head for the tenth time because he knew he wouldn't last much longer, Sebastian was shooting out over their stomachs and the sound that came from his mouth was all Theo needed to finish.

After a few seconds of heavy breathing they both stared at the sticky mess on their shirts and laughed. "We're fucken nasty." Theo said finally, pulling back from Sebastian and kneeling on the foot of the bed.

"Yeah we are. Shit." Sebastian swung his legs off the bed and moved to the other side of the room and picked up a questionably clean towel. "Sorry, only cum rag I got in here." he wiped himself off and shrugged, tossing the nasty towel to Theo who did the same.

"My shirts fucked for the night." Theo said while stripping it off and tossing it onto the floor. "Yours is too."

"You just wanna see me shirtless." Sebastian teased, but did the same.

"Maybe." Theo smiled.

Sebastian crawled back to bed with Theo and snuggled up next to him. "Well what the fuck should we do for the rest of the night?"

"Solarian Chronicles?"

Sebastian beamed, "Man after my own heart." he pressed a fat kiss against Theo's lips and rushed over to his table, waiting for his boyfriend to join him.


End file.
